The last couple of weeks went by faster than I expected they would. I really believe that the energy healing work that I've been doing has helped keep me more balanced and calm. I still have had some freak out moments, but for the most part, I'm just taking things one day at a time. The nausea is still there in full force, but I'm managing it as best as I can, mainly by eating. Constantly. And by eating I don't mean having a few crackers, I mean meals. I am someone who is normally very health conscious. I typically watch my calories and exercise regularly. I learned when I was pregnant with Smiley that I am very different as a pregnant woman, the nausea creates a whole different person. I find myself pulling into McDonald's for an Egg McMuffin, because I must have it. And oddly enough, it calms the nausea...for about an hour and a half. Then I'm trying to figure out what I can eat next that won't make me ill and will calm the nausea simultaneously. It's a balancing act, when I'm meeting with physicians and co-workers every day. Thursday I have a dinner meeting with a Neurosurgeon we are trying to recruit, I am hoping and praying I can keep myself together for the evening.
Today we had our first appointment with our new OB practice. I went in early yesterday morning for an ultrasound, as they didn't have two appointments together in one day. I actually enjoyed going in early, I had time with the sonographer to ask some questions about the practice, and learn a bit about how they work. She was so sweet, I got great vibes right off the bat. And of course, it was wonderful to be able to see that little heart beat, and see him/her moving around! Today we met with one of the OB's, we really liked him a lot. We went through our crazy history with him, discussed his opinion on a VBAC vs. scheduled C-section - he looked at me and said, "you've been through a lot. Let's not risk anything, I recommend a planned C-section" O.k. that's set then! We discussed the first trimester screening, I was able to get an appointment in 2 weeks, so I'm glad to have that on the calendar. We also talked about having BRCA gene testing, given my mother's passing from breast cancer. It's something I've thought a lot about, and I do plan on having that done, but I feel like I can only handle one thing at a time right now. I am nowhere prepared to make decisions about radical mastectomies or hysterectomies while I'm trying to nurture a life. I have pretty much come to terms with the fact that I likely carry the gene, given that my mother was of Ashkenazi Jewish descent, and was diagnosed so young (two big risk factors for me), but I have been told by a breast surgeon that I still have time, and I've been very proactive in my screenings so far, so let's just get through this pregnancy, G_d willing.
R and I came away from the appointment feeling like we made the right decision about switching practices. Forget the fact that they have an office right around the corner from our home (although our appointment was at the other office about 15 minutes away, but still much better than 45 minutes away, which is what we were doing before!) but we got the sense that they are going to take good care of us. The nurse that worked with us today, treated me like I was her only patient of the day. She's young and sweet, she told me that if I ever feel anxiety between appointments, I can call her any time and come in to hear the heart beat. I wanted to hug her. She also mentioned that her brother is a coach with the new Penn State coaching staff. Again, wanted to hug her...told her I am a PSU alum, it warmed my heart to hear that her brother loves the coaching staff and that the team is so happy with the support they have. The icing on the cake was my doctor telling me that I get to come back a week after my first trimester screening, so really I have to just get through the next 2 weeks until that, and then I get to be seen again, a week later. That will get me into (knock on wood) my 13th week. But like I find myself saying 50 times a day, I must take things one step at a time.
Time to go have my evening snack and crawl into bed, if I'm lucky I'll make it part way through a DVR'd show!